Featured Image

First of all, we’d like to thank the amazing yurricanes for working with us to create the featured image for this episode. I think you’ll agree that it’s an amazing piece of art, and you should definitely check out their work.

Players

Squidge

Jay

Lulu

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Notes

Content Warning

As with every episode, I’ve bleeped out a few swears (and a few words which aren’t swears).

The first swear happens at 22:57, and is Squidge calling bullsh*t on Big The Cat in Team Sonic Racing.

The next one (which was Squidge again) happens at 27:20 with him saying:

Social sh*t underneath; see you later

Another one happens at 30:40 - Squidge again:

And I was coming up with b*t

And one more for Squidge at 32:30, this time quoting Wheaton’s Law:

Don’t be a d*ck

Notes

I feel bad for not telling Squidge that we weren’t doing a CastleVania episode, but we have Lulu on the show!

maybe we can get #HelloLulu trending. It’s up to you folks

Side bar:

For inside baseball fans, I’m the one who edits all of this nonsense into slightly less nonsense. One of the best parts of working on this show with Squidge is that I can surprise him with no context clips during the edit.

Anyway, I want you all to know that I sent Squidge a clip of Lulu singing:

Lulu's Avatar Lulu

My hot trash Daddy!

one evening, whilst I was editing the show, but I hadn’t named the file. It turns out that he was at work, and was surrounded by his colleagues, and he hit play… and his phone was on full blast

Squidge's Avatar Squidge

I had some ‘splainin’ to do

Anyway, on with the show!

and yes, it’s his new text message tone

Lulu, fresh from recent Distant Worlds, is here to tell us all about it. Just what is Distant Worlds, and what makes it so cool? Well, stick around and you’ll find out.

We also decided that it was worth Squidge watching the pre-E3 trailer for the Final Fantasy VII (2020)

we recorded this part pre-E3, folks

and giving his commentary live.

But before we could get to that, Lulu reminds me that I may have forgotten to get her some pretties from Japan. Also, I make a turtle face apparently.

We also need a certificate confirming that Squidge is or isn’t a nutter. Send yours in today.

Lulu surprises everyone by telling us that she has been playing Final Fantasy XIV, as has her other half

I bleeped his name, because I forgot to ask whether he’d like to be mentioned on the show.

_which makes me wonder whether we should have an episode with the Metal Moose himself" >}}

because there’s some new DLC coming out (called Shadow Bringers), so she’s been preparing for that.

Lulu has also been reliving parts of her younger days by playing Two Point Hospital - the spiritual sequel to Theme Hospital. It sounds like a lot of fun, maybe I should look into getting it. I loved playing Theme Hospital, Theme Park, and Roller Coaster Tycoon.

Lulu has also been playing The Sims 4; a series of games which epitomises the “crop in, drop out” culture of casual gaming. You can literally binge it after having not played it for years chill out.

maybe that should be the new thing: Sims and Chill

And Squidge drops the bomb that he might just be a psychopath - based on his treatment of his sims. He also goes into detail as to how he treats his sims. But that pails in comparison to how Lulu treats the Sims she doesn’t like.

note to self: never get on either of their bad sides

Shockingly too, Squidge has been playing Diablo III. As a quick reminder, this is one of his characters:

How cool do these wings look!

And in another shocking deviation from the norm, he’s been playing Resident Evil - specifically 0, this time. But he’s also been playing CastleVania Anniversary Collection which, although it contains things like Kid Dracula, it doesn’t contain Master of Darkness

probably because it was made by SIMS and published by Sega

In my opinion, that was a better game than the first CastleVania.

He’s also been playing the Resident Evil 2 Board Game with silent partner Ik

missingNo's Avatar Ik

…

and nerfing the difficulty up to 11.

We also discuss how we could totally play a game of that and stream it. Squidge then reminds me of the lost episode

pour one out for my lost hommie

Meanwhile I’d played Team Sonic Racing

or is it Sonic Team Racing? Maybe Racing Team Sonic?

Whist it’s good, it’s simply just Mario Kart but not as good. Also, the “Sonic racing” type of games peaked at Sonic R (which was the first game in the series).

We then have a discussion about which Unaffiliated Monster is best. Even though we’re not sponsored by them

maybe they should sponsor us?

Or maybe Unaffiliated Monster Munch should sponsor us? If they did, there’d be a lot more crunchy noises in each episode.

Also, remember to like and subscribe.

Chief's Avatar Chief

Like and subscribe

We talk a little about what it’s like to stream video games and talk to yourself whilst playing. Along with the:

Please subscribe. Pretty please!

Squidge then quickly mentions the few videos that he produced and released on YouTube before taking them down. They really were fantastically well made, and would love to share them with you all. But they only exist on his hard drive.

Also, how much better would Resident Evil: Love Island be than the “reality” show with a similar name?

Lulu then tells us that she’s hoping to stream the Final Fantasy VII (2020), which is due out very soon. Which leads us into a potentially spikey discussion about how the LGBTQ+ community might take to the famous “Cloud dressing as a woman” part of FFVII.

I really, honestly, hope that we talked about it in a fair, open, and respectful way. We really tried.

We also talk about SJWs and Kotaku, are less favourable toward either of them. Which leads us onto a discussion about what Terry Pratchett called the “err mob”. We then lightly touch on sexism in games, and the historical basis to the “save the princess” trope - using Tifa Lockheart, Jill Valentine, and Star Wars as examples.

Lulu then goes into a pretty recent case of SJWs potentially ruining a character arch in Lunafreya. The story goes

using Lulu as a source, as she’s our Final Fantasy expert

that her original backstory implied that she was being abused, and that her character arch was going to have her overcome that abuse and mental scars that it created. Which sounds like it would have been an excellent way of broaching the subject to some gamers, and letting people know that they can become stronger and that they can fight back.

I then drop some storytelling knowledge on you all by quickly discussing the three act story structure, and talking through a perfect example: Star Wars.

Here’s a challenge for you: take your favourite Three-act Structure story

bonus points if you use a Save The Princess story

exchange the gendered nouns, and tell me that the story wouldn’t still be a good story.

Lulu’s Games

  • Final Fantasy XIV
  • Two Point Hospital
  • The Sims 4

Squidgey’s Games

  • Diablo III
  • Resident Evil 0
  • CastleVania Collection
  • Borderlands 2
  • Resident Evil 2 Board Game

Jay’s Games

  • Team Sonic Racing

Music

Links to the music used in the podcast can be found below. Definitely check them out, because they're amazing tracks by awesome musicians.

All copyrighted material contained within this podcast is the property of their respective rights owners. Please see the above list for copyright details pertaining to music used.

Games Covered

We mentioned 16 games in this podcast. In the following order, those games where: