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The Kingdom of Hearts

March 22, 2019

Players

Squidge

Jay

Lulu

Chief

If you wish to support the Waffling Taylors, and the other shows in the network, you can over at Ko-fi.com/jayandjaymedia. However, supporting us is completely voluntary and not required at all.

Another way to support us is to shout out about us on social media or give us a rating on your podcatcher service of choice. The more people who listen to the show, the more shows we can do.

Content Warning

Just like last time, I’ve bleeped all of the swears

there are only a few

bar one, which is in the intro sequence. It’s an instance of “bastard” and really fit with the nature of the sketch we were going for. But if this is a problem, skip ahead by 30 seconds as soon as the episode starts to play, and you’ll skip right past it.

Notes

Squidge, Lulu, Chief Problems, and I have a long discussion on Kingdom Hearts 3 and Final Fantasy XV. Spoilers abound folks, so please skip this episode if you haven’t played either game because spoilers abound

as I found out – much to my chagrin

Squidge and Chief start by blowing my mind with their perfect description of the main character of Sora – the Kingdom Hearts series. Squidgey and Lulu refuse to talk about the overarching story of the Kingdom Hearts, mainly because it’s so convoluted

check the External Links of Interest section for a pretty comprehensive video on the entire plot of the KH series

Lulu then attempts to explain just why Sora has a keyblade… without going into the story. It turns out that the keyblades were pretty rare in the beginning, but by Kingdom Hearts 3

which, according to wikipedia, is the 13th game in the series?!

everyone and their Mums have a keyblade. Which makes Lulu lament on the fact that she can’t possibly play all of the games in the series

and not just because some of them were only released in Japan

But Squidgey is happy because you can fight monkeys

which I’m going to leave at that

and Chief adds that to the pros column

you think you know a guy

Then Squidgey tells us what he’s been taking photos of in the game. I’m not sure you’ll be ready to hear it, but know that it’s a perfectly Squidgey-esque thing to do.

This give Lulu a chance to tell us why she thinks a lot of video games have camera modes in them. And I have to say, I think she got it spot on.

A slight warning about KH3 though:

Lulu's Avatar Lulu

for the majority of it, it’s quite light-hearted. But when they decide to hit with the feels train, they hit you hard

Which leads Squidge and Lulu into a conversation about how the original release of the first Kingdom Hearts game had unskippable cutscenes

the bane of any gamer who has lost a fight to any boss, anywhere

And Chief reminds us of the dialogue heavy section of Final Fantasy VII in Calm – i.e. the longest chain of dialogue boxes in hyperbole. He then shows us just how gullible he can be when it comes to long chains of dialogue boxes.

Both Squidgey and Lulu highly rate Kingdom Hearts 3 and would definitely recommend folks playing it

if they’ve played the other console titles that is

but they both agree that trying to get the entire story, including the minutia would take a lot of effort.

Then we turn to Final Fantasy XV, a game which Lulu really enjoys, a lot of fans didn’t get, Chief played without paying much attention to it, Squidgey has just started, and something I knew every little about.

Chief's Avatar Chief

There just wasn’t enough. I think I described it once as, ‘it’s a bit like a Michael Bay film, you can’t see what’s going on.’ I know that I’ve won, but I don’t really know how

Which leads us to a discussion on Final Fantasy’s summons. In previous games, you could summon a god-like creature

most being based on real-world Gods and creatures from myth and legends

but in later games they’ve become background characters.

Lulu does us the favour of explaining why FFXV is a bit of a mixed bag of slightly lacking game play, and a serious reduction of story

for a Final Fantasy game, that is

and even lets us know that she completed the game before any of the extra content or game changing patches came out. Btu she does talk about how the fight with the Leviathan is a little like the first time you take on Sephiroth

damn you Uematsu for writing such amazing music!

Lulu then drops the bomb that it’s gamers in the West who earn Square-Enix all of their money – you’ll have to listen as to why that’s so, but it checked out when I researched it.

Even though there’s a lot missing from FFXV, the main characters are exceptionally realistic

Squidge's Avatar Squidge

what I love about [Prompto] is that you see him trying to run somewhere, slip, roll, and try to get back up. He’s not perfect, he keeps falling over or slipping or tripping on stuff while the others will just jump over it

The conversation of FFXV brings us around to the topic of the Final Fantasy VII (2020), and we get into some wild speculation as to what we could get. Square-Enix have been extremely tight lipped about the remake, whereas they were incredibly open about FFXV’s development. Lulu even drops the bomb that this year’s Distant World’s concerts are focused on FFVII – maybe something will be announced there. Who can say?

Lulu also reminds us that I told her to put FFXIII on her C.V

or resume, if you’re that way inclined

because she’s one of the few people that I know who actually sat through that disaster of a corridor simulator.


One last thing before I end the show notes: we’re taking a little break in April. Essentially, both Squidgey and myself are going on vacations. Squidge is having a staycation

as far as I know, anyway

and I’m jetting off to Japan for a little while. Because of this we’re not going to release anything in April, so this will be the penultimate episode until May.

But I’m going to be recording some stuff while I’m out in Japan, and will make those recordings into an episode when I get back – so keep an ear open for them, I guess.

Links of Interest

  • Grenade to the FACE!
  • The Kewhcast (Lulu’s Final Fantasy – Part One)
  • 56 Games in 63 Minutes

External Links of Interest

  • Support us on Ko-Fi
  • The complete story of Kingdom Hearts – Let’s Get ready for Kingdom Hearts III
  • The Day Before Departure

the novella that Lulu mentioned

Music

Links to the music used in the podcast can be found below. Definitely check them out, because they're amazing tracks by awesome musicians.

  • Intro music is Behind the Lines by Ian Sutherland
  • Spoiler Break music is Spectrum (Subdiffusion Mix) by Foniqz (BandCamp)
  • Pallet Cleanser music is Breath Deep Breath Clear (Wu Chi) by Siobhan Dakay
  • Outro Music is I N e e d Y o u 私の側て by G.H (removed from BandCamp)
All copyrighted material contained within this podcast is the property of their respective rights owners. Please see the above list for copyright details pertaining to music used.

Games Covered

We mentioned 15 games in this podcast. In the following order, those games where:
  • Dark Souls (series)
  • FIFA (series)
  • Final Fantasy IX
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Final Fantasy VII (2020)
  • Final Fantasy VIII
  • Final Fantasy X-2
  • Final Fantasy XIII
  • Final Fantasy XIV
  • Final Fantasy XV
  • Fortnite
  • Kingdom Hearts 3
  • Spider-Man (2018)
  • The Bouncer
  • Vagrant Story

Related posts

  • My Hot Trash Daddy (Lulu's Final Fantasy – Part Three)
  • A Serious Case of the Bwaaauums
  • Favourite Games With White Mage and Red Mage
  • 56 Games in 63 Minutes
  • The Kwehcast (Lulu's Final Fantasy – Part One)
  • Our Blustry Guest (with B – Part Two)
  • Time Cast Pod Machine Part Three
  • Time Cast Pod Machine Part Two
  • Sega Wrist
  • Damn Squidge!
  • The Slim Jim Snap
  • Grand Theft Horsey
  • Unaffiliated JZ's Kinda Party
  • The Waffling Taylors and Unaffiliated JZ Podcast Party
  • Double Barrel Australian Death

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HostWhen
JayTuesdays @ 7PM
SquidgeWednesday @ 7PM

Note: the above times are in UK time.

Check out our Schedule page for more information.

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